Gripping Tight

With the infinite possibilities of our world today, it is exclaimed that you must do everything you can to capture your goal: that relationship, career, home, et cetera. It is said that if you do not constantly work at it and dedicate your whole life to the pursuit, then you will fall short and never receive your prize.

But, as we know, the one who is too desperate for that relationship will never obtain it. The ‘special someone’ will be put off from obsession and turn away. The irony is, if you grab something as tight as you can, it falls through your hands.

We see this in Star Wars with Anakin Skywalker in Episode III. The only thing he wants in life is for his beloved, Padme, not to die. He does everything possible to ensure this does not happen. Not only does he become obsessed with it, but he sells his soul to the dark side with the promise of being able to ‘bring one back from the dead.’ He does everything to grasp this power and preserve his dream.

Most ironically, this is exactly what kills Padme. His loss of sanity and delusion to capturing this dream does the exact opposite. Padme dies because of the heartbreak of who Anakin has become – someone she no longer knows. By gripping with everything he had, he choked her out forever.

Open Handed

His son, on the other hand, does the exact opposite. Luke in Episode VI confronts the emperor along with his father, not with desperation, but with open hands. He hands over his weapon and receives the full wrath of the emperor; surrendering all the power in his hands, Luke embraces faith. But his faith has an object, the force, that he believes will bring back balance – particularly to his father. The one who betrayed the light will now betray the dark.

Luke has faith that, even though it’s illogical to give up his weapon, that his father – against all odds – will do the absurd and obtain his dream; defeat the emperor and turn his father from dark to light. And this is exactly what happens. By being open-handed and giving up desperation, Luke surrenders to the reality that the impossible is not in his hands but has faith that it would still happen. Everyone thought Luke was crazy. Yet it comes forth.

The Source

This is Søren Kierkegaard’s ‘Knight of Faith’ in Fear and Trembling. As labeled in the story of Abraham and Isaac when God asks Abraham to give up the son God just miraculously provided for him, Abraham gives him up open handed with the faith that God would provide him once again, even though he was soon to be dead. Abraham’s ‘absurd’ faith is in an object (or person) who is The Author of Life and has proven Himself Open to him before. The One who provided Isaac, even though asks him back, can provide him again.

It’s an impossible picture, but it’s as if when we give up what we are desperate for – that is precisely when we receive it. This is not a law or a magic spell, but a paradox of living by faith. How one could come to such a belief is not formulaic. One can sacrifice their desire, but to believe that they will still receive it through killing it is an impossible comprehension. It’s as Kierkegaard said in Fear and Trembling, “faith begins precisely where thinking leaves off.”

Not Promised

This is not a doctrine of salvation; this is not a promised ‘method’ that we Americans are so obsessed to learn of, but examples of humility. One that is so humble that it gives up everything it wants, and yet, those are exactly the ones who are open to receive. The meek shall inherit the earth.

I can testify to this with my wife. I was obsessed with ‘finding that special someone’ and pursued to no avail with all my strength. I then gave it up. I submitted to singleness and accepted it’s reality. Then, in time, by divine providence, I met my wife, not out of my doing, and received her with thanksgiving.

It has taken me years to realize this truth with my work and vocation. I have done everything in my hands to figure it out, and to get to the ‘right place.’ The more I try, the further it gets away from me. This article is a seal of my ‘giving it up.’ I give up the dream and take open hands to what is ahead. For I cannot grasp it on my own. Maybe I’ll finally have open hands to receive something instead.

Therefore, it may be said, some receive by letting go.

Godspeed.

Nicholas Harper